


Dr. McCantical’s Illegal Evil Blog

by your_average_gay_weeb



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Blog/Vlog, Dr. Horrible AU, F/M, Kazuichi Souda is a SIMP, One-Sided Attraction, Reader is Kazuichi’s crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:56:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_average_gay_weeb/pseuds/your_average_gay_weeb
Summary: Kazuichi Souda (known to the public as Dr. McCantical) records another blog post about his next plan to save his crush from the helping hands of Occult hero (Gundham Tanaka).
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Reader
Kudos: 10





	Dr. McCantical’s Illegal Evil Blog

**Author's Note:**

> So you know the Mudae bot on Discord?
> 
> It has Dr. Horrible. I learned this by claiming him in the Jojo server I help run (shameless self promo. If you want to join, then [here you go!](https://discord.gg/pD6wwRX)). To celebrate and because it’s been too long since I’d seen it, I rewatched Dr. Horrible a few days ago.
> 
> Then the idea for an anime crossover/AU came to mind and I knew I had to.
> 
> So I racked my brain for a good villain character and thought of Kazuichi(who is underrated imo)!! I might write I jojo one later if I feel like it!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!!

“Hey guys! Welcome back to another week of Dr. McCantical’s Illegal Evil Blog!” I wave to the camera when the light starts to blink, signaling that it’s recording. “Last week, I accidentally trailed off and went into a rant on why My Love should be with me rather than Occult Hero, and I apologize for that. It’s just that… y’know! My Love deserves the best! I could build her whatever she wanted! All Animal Boy could do is attract feral rats and act like they’re friendly! He can’t do anything actually useful like I can!”

Woah, that’s a bad way to start. I take a breath to calm me down before continuing.

“Sorry about that. This time, I’ll try to not let Hamster Man’s dumb existence get to me. Speaking of getting…” I look to my right and rummage through piles of used tissues and assorted documents until I find the file I need. “It’s time to read the emails you all have sent me!”

I bring the manila folder into the camera’s view, the word “Emails” in all caps on the front. I stick my hand inside and pull out the emails I printed off and count them.

“Ooh, we have three this time! Seems like more people are beginning to notice me! This first one is from… oh my! I’ve gotten an email from Brat-Worst!”

“Ahem: _‘Dear Dr. McCantical; congratulations on becoming a member of Despair Bear’s Very Evil Care Force!’_ Aww, why thank you! _‘As someone who has been in the Force for a while, I’m always happy to know that there are still people out there who live and love to be evil in their own way. I hope to see you on the news after your next heist (hope not in Occult Hero’s pale grip as he puts you in handcuffs)! Signed, Brat-Worst.’_.”

“You’re kidding, right? All Brat-Worst does is rob diners and restaurants! She doesn’t care about bettering society in some evil form or making new helpful rays, she just wants to eat! The only reason she joined the Force is to steal food! How is she considered a villain! You guys understand my frustration, right?” I look into the camera in distress, then move on to the next letter.”

“Anyways this next one is from… All1NeedsIsSleep! They’ve been a pretty close follower of my blogs, so I’m always glad to see a letter from them!”

“ _‘Dr. McCantical; Once your plan plays out and you’ve captured the heart of your crush, can you tell me about the process? It might help me with my Otome games. I suck at them and I think that learning about people’s experiences with love can help me get the best routes.’_.”

“In all due respect, All1NeedsIsSleep, what the hell is an O-toe-may game?” I look at the camera as if to stare into All1NeedsIsSleep’s soul, then throw the paper over my shoulder and read the next letter.

“This final email is from FingerzInMyBagel. Interesting name.” I try to hide my disgust, but it’s at least a little clear that I’m not a fan of that name.

“ _‘McCantical, my dude. How can you call yourself a villain? You've never fought Occuld Hero, you have yet to pull off a successful heist, and you can’t even tell the difference between moltide and ptestrium! You can’t call yourself a true member of Despair Bear’s Very Evil Care Force unless you battle Occult Hero and fall into despair! From there, you can become one with that despair until it becomes hope! Hope that will help you defeat Occult and bring your love into your awaiting arms!’_.”

I can only stare at the paper while I process what I just read.

“First of all, don’t call me your ‘dude’ and then tell me I’m not a villain! Second, I have too done a successful heist! You may not know this because it seems like you’re new here, but last month I stole a shirt My Loves laundry! And I do know the difference between the two! Ptestrium is what I _do_ need for my next weapon, and moltide is _not_! As for the hope and despair stuff, I have no idea what you mean by any of that.”

“But that doesn’t matter!” I put the now empty file back on my desk and grab an unfinished gun-shaped weapon from my left and show it to the camera. “What matters is that this is almost done! All it needs is a name, the aforementioned ptestrium, and some Waldoprize! And lucky for me, I know when I’ll be able to get them! Once I have all of those things, Occult man will no longer be able to be with his rodent friends, because he will be allergic to all of them!” I held onto the weapon as I started to laugh evilly.

As my laughter died down, I caught a glimpse of the time from my computer.

“Oh! I hate to end this week’s blog short, but I have important business to attend to! So long, my friends! Remember to share this with your friends and that any name ideas for my weapons are always welcome! You know where to send them! See you next week!”

I end the recording, and get up to go upstairs into my civilian lab -which normal people call their bedroom. I rush to my closet where my many civilian outfits are and dress myself like a normal person with pink hair. I grab whatever clothing is on my floor and begin stuffing them into my laundry bag and make sure I have everything I need before I leave the house to see the Love Of My Life.

And to do my laundry.


End file.
